I Disagree With You, But I Still Love You
Scott: Posted on Friday, August 10, 2012 11:36 AM
I’ve noticed most recently that people, specifically Americans on social networks, are lacking the ability to understand the difference between differing opinions and potentially relationship-ending hate speech. This type of over-escalation comes from having the wrong goals at the onset. nike soldes running Let’s go back to our old friend, the communications model, to illustrate.
So….a sender shoots out (types out) a message, in this case an opinion, to a receiver (or multiple receivers) then there’s some feedback (let’s call it a comment) and the while process starts again. Now when you as the sender receive feedback either as an individual or a brand that doesn’t agree with your particular world view you really have three choices:
1. Ignore it.
2. asics soldes Devalue it.
3. Accept it.
IGNORE OPTION — Plenty of people ignore feedback when it’s given. Psychologists tell us that an unreinforced behavior is 80 percent likely not to be repeated so in this way, ignoring feedback is a good way to shut them up…for good. Good for you, that’ll show em. (The sarcastic tone here means that option 1 is not your best bet)
DEVALUE OPTION — I was on the debate team in high school and without tooting my own horn, I was always pretty good. No matter what my opponent from the other school said, I could find a weakness, exploit it and beat them down to the satisfaction of whoever was judging the debate and usually the applause of the room. It was a fun game for me. ugg pas cher But, if your goal is building the relationship and not “winning,” (Sorry, Charlie Sheen) I’d suggest that debating or devaluing someone’s opinions or feedback really isn’t the way to go.
ACCEPT OPTION — As you might have deduced, accepting feedback and actually thanking people for it is the best way to build a relationship. timberland soldes (Remember the goal of all communications is to….what again?) Thanks for playing. Accept that we don’t all agree about everything and we all hold different world views and that’s ok. air jordan en soldes Now breathe. And just because someone disagrees with you about an issue DOES NOT mean they personally hate you. There is a huge difference. One is about an issue, the other about a relationship.
Learning how to disagree, how to fight is one of THE most important things in keeping a good relationship, whether it be a business partnership, a marriage, a friendship or a fan of your brand’s Facebook page.
Also, try these sure-fire ways to stop an argument.
– No kidding!
– You may be right (Hey, it worked for Billy Joel)
– That’s interesting
– I had no idea
– I never thought of it that way
– Thank you for telling me
– I love you, I believe in you. I know that you will do the right thing for you
Feedback makes the world go around and it keeps the sound man awake (live music inside reference there for ya) If we all just agreed about every issue, the world would be extremely boring. Remember that when you’re commenting on people’s posts and responding to comments as well.